I went to my parents house today and I'm sure my mom was wondering why I was so quiet. If something is bothering me, I'm worried, or just don't feel good, I'm quiet. Which, let's face it, would be a gift to some people these days! ; ) So what's up with me today? To put it bluntly, I'm sick and tired of waiting for Aiden to be able to come home!! I've come full circle and stopped at the "frustrated" gate. I feel like I'm on a merry-go-round that stops at certain points, only to continue again, and drag me along with it. So how do I get off of this ride? I can't just shut down completely, but I'm sick and tired of waiting in line. So I've heard some say that when you get to your breaking point, it'll happen. But what if you get to your breaking point, and nothing happens. That is possible you know? Then what? I'm not completely there, I was just wondering.....
What to do, what to do? I've been working on my Christmas projects, hubs said last night it's looking good, bless him! :) So what do I do with this frustration? Which, I know it's just a stage and will pass and then stop at the next gate - sadness, happiness, excitement, depression, etc. Wonder which one it'll be tomorrow. Some of you are probably thinking, this gal needs help, or maybe a stiff drink! I'll keep going everyday, just like I always do. Tick.....tock.......tick.........tock.............tick.........................tock...........................tick.....................tock - sick of reading tick tock yet? Well, I'm sick of hearing it! Yes I'd like a little bit of cheese with my whine! I'm venting today. Usually I'm kind of quiet with the complaining. But gosh darn it I'm sick of this waiting. I'm waiting every single day till we get another Well Baby Check, picture, whatever till whenever!
And I always say me - "I'm waiting". Truth is all our families are waiting. Our daughter, Taylor, has also been waiting almost 4 years too. She'll be 10 in exactly a month. Do you know how long four years is to a child? An eternity. She actually asked me this summer were we still adopting? She's past the point of being excited. I think we all are, and by that I mean, all our family. And now with North Korea being the big bad bully, we have no idea if we'll be able to travel to South Korea to pick Aiden up! I was sooooo looking forward to going to Seoul! I mean really!! I'm not the adventurous type at all, I'm a home body, just ask the hubs. He's the adventurous one, so I was really liking the idea of visiting our son's birth place and experiencing ALL of that! WOW!! So now that may not even happen. And the hubs, he's just here. He says he really can't get attached to a child he's never met, doesn't know anything about, never held. Who can blame him!? It's only been four years of waiting?! But he's been there every step of the way, which I truly appreciate! Love ya dear! :)
So..... what's next? Christmas will be here sometime soon. I'm really trying to look forward to it, but it's just not happening. Then, it's Taylor's birthday on December 30th. Really need to get myself together to come up with a great birthday idea, she'll be "10", double digits!! Then New Year's..... now we're talking! Finally... it'll be next year, but we've still got a month to go till then. Yeah, I know......just a few more months! I feel like I'd like to slap the next person that says that to me! (ignore the last comment, I'm just venting!)
