Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Okay .... I get it

So I've figured out what I'm doing.  My heart has suffered a big loss.  I googled steps to healing after a trama.  Well...okay..... not getting our EP was not that big of a trama!  But in my mind it was, this is about me, how I'm dealing, how I'm making sense of this, etc.  This has nothing to do with everyone else.  And if some would soon realize, that when your first comment about something like this was about you, then judgement has no place here, it's not about you.  I'm sure some are asking themselves, what's the big deal,  why did she get so upset, she should have known there was a chance they wouldn't get it, it's only a few more months?  These types of thoughts have to do with your perception as though you were  the one dealing with this.  Not pointing fingers at all, just trying to make some understand  where I'm coming from. : )  I think  people today are too quick to judge someone in their situations, as though we are the ones dealing, when we're not.

So this is what I read first.


Stages of Grief
Elizabeth Kübler-Ross outlined five stages of grief. These include denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. In the denial stage, you may be numb and think that what happened could not be real. In the angry stage you want to find blame or you feel resentful of those who seem to be enjoying life. When you are bargaining you want to make a deal; for example, you think of all the ways you would be a better person if the pain were to go away. With depression may come the thought, “Why should I go on now that my friend is dead?” You know acceptance happens when you feel more peaceful about the loss and you give up struggling to make things be different.


This makes total sense to me.  Of course, no one died, this situation  isn't about someone dying.  But,  I have gone through these steps, literally, which means, yes,  I feel I have lost something.  I know Aiden will be ours someday, but I have no idea when that day will come.  I'm in this..... for him.... we all are.  So yes, I get it.  



It will soon be about someone else.  And I will be there comforting, supporting, and not judging.   Sometimes people just want to be heard, recognized, validated.  I've realized in the last few years what true friendship is.  A friend is  someone that can listen to you, comfort you, support you, and  understand what you are going through.  Sometimes that's all we need is someone to listen and support.  We all deserve that! :)