It's a chocolate kind of day ....

2 1/2 weeks home and I'd say we're still doing good.  I can't seem to figure out the nights though.  Night before last, Aiden slept the entire night without crying to wake me.  I woke around 3-4 times anyway which is standard at this point.  Felt tired all through the day, which is standard for these days too! But Aiden was really tired yesterday all through the day too, after sleeping all night. I assumed he slept good since I didn't hear him cry.

So yesterday morning, I forgot to make Tay's  school lunch yesterday.  She's in fouth grade and has taken her lunch since Kindergarten, so that's basically 5 years I've made her school lunch.... every morning.  Yep, never thought about it till the phone rang at 8 am, Tay calling to say she didn't have her lunch.   Mike is working later this week, so he has been taking her to school.  I've been getting up to shower before him, so I can at least have a shower,  I don't function well with out a shower! So I made her lunch and wait a few hours to take it to her school.  So around 10 am, Aiden and I leave to run to Tay's school.  After 5 minutes in the car, he falls asleep..... really?  He slept through me getting him out of the car at school, walking into the building, dropping off Tay's lunch, putting him back in the car, driving home, and I put him down in his bed ...... still sleeping.  He's never done that, he's always woken up. Has sleep deprivation caught up with him maybe?  Well,  that 10 am nap lasted about an hour, and well, that was it for a nap yesterday.  He was so irritable, cranky, mad, ill,  and whatever else you call it for the rest of the day.  Could not get him to take another nap, he usually just takes one nap  midday.  I didn't want to put him down real early last night, we're trying to stay on a schedule, but looks like that was out the window at this point anyway.

Put him in the bathtub around 6:45, bottle at 7, and he passed out after that.  I went to bed around 10:30 and then the troubled night began.  At around 11:30 he decides, he's awake, flopping all over the bed, clapping his hands, making sounds, etc.  Aiden has been really good about staying in his bed the whole night, if he wakes, he'll try to go back to sleep, but he flops around in all different positions.  Well, at this point he's really awake, and after about an hour and a half, he'd had enough. Then he starts crying and is rolling all over me, like he's trying to find comfort, with me doing my best to comfort him lying down.  Trying my best to comfort him in bed and not picking him up.  He finally gets a little still and must have fallen asleep on me with me falling asleep too, I was laying on my back.  I awoke to him sliding off me to one side when I moved, then the crying began again.  I tried my best to comfort him without his music but it did not work.  Turned the music on and it helped calm him.  I dosed off again by this time it was 2 am maybe.

I'm really trying my best to figure him out.  I still can not leave a room with him in there, he freaks.  It's like he's taken a step back in progress.  He was glued to me this morning, I could not put him down for anything.  I finally got the carrier and put him in it to help Tay flat iron her hair.  And I saw real quick that he "needs" me big time today.  He's stayed really close to me, even wanting to be picked up a lot, which I do, because I know he needs/wants it.  I saw that he was getting sleepy at 9 am. I tried my best to hold him off till 11.  I fed him a snack and gave him a full bottle, and he passed out at 11:30.  After about 45 minutes in bed, he wakes crying, which is so normal.  I had to turn his music on again to help soothe him and get him back to sleep.  Tried without the music first, didn't work.

I know so many have said, "it's normal and it'll get better".  So what's happening here?  Does he not feel good, is it grief, should I just put him in his bed and let him cry it out.  He's so needy and I am so so SO tired!

Nap is over, crying again...